A New Life Hack: Red Onion Sock Salad
Every night before I go to bed, I faithfully smear a glob of coconut oil all over my feet and then pull on socks. It’s supposed to be a miracle cure for dry skin. I’ve tried dozens of creams and files and pumice stones over the years, all to no avail, and now have turned to “nature’s miracle”, coconut oil, for assistance. So far, all that’s happened is that I seem to be dreaming of beaches and cream pies more often than doctors recommend.
Yesterday morning, I ran across this article about how red onions and garlic are the answer to “stimulating my meridians”, which, frankly, I never even realized were lacking stimulation. I mean, they’ve never said a single word about it. Truth be told, I may not have even been aware that I possessed meridians. The onion slices are also supposed to kill germs, bacteria, and purify my blood. And, once again, you’re advised to stash them in your socks and then slip the socks on before you go to bed.
Not one to rule out a safe, natural remedy before testing it out, I just might give it a whirl. God help me though if I have to get up to go to the bathroom at 3:00 a.m. I’ll be slipping and sliding around inside my socks on greased-up, onion slices.
No doubt I’ll soon stumble upon an article claiming that a few romaine leaves wrapped around the onions along with a touch of balsamic will improve nighttime circulation, or some such nonsense, and then I’ll have a complete sock salad, good to go, as I hobble to the loo.