Such is the Life of a New Blogger
It would seem that I’ve been blogging for four months now.
Four months?! Really?
Like a marriage, the birth of a child, or any other major life shift, it either seems like eons or only yesterday since I began my blogging tour, depending on the day, the hour, the minute, the madness.
Scores of new technical terms have, at times, become the bane of my existence, and at others, an accepted part of my everyday life. Writing an article has become completing a “post” and inserting it into the blog page has become “populating the site”; a “view” is no longer primarily something I see from my deck, but rather how many people read a particular “post”; and I can watch “traffic patterns” even as I’m sitting in my chair at my keyboard.
I’ve learned to use numerous primates for tasks of which I never would have suspected they were even remotely capable: PicMonkey, a saucy, grinning cartoon monkey, gladly helps me adjust my photos’ focus, color saturation, and lighting to make them look as pretty as a picture, while Mailchimp, a cap-wearing imp of a chimp, is the postal guru of the primate world, flinging out emails left and right. How did I live my life for 51 years without even realizing that these two future banana-loving friends existed? (By the way, I realize that some of you are getting double emails from the chimp, and I apologize. He’s overly excited, and I’ll get him in line very shortly! Thanks for bearing with his monkeyshines.) I also have my eye on SurveyMonkey and Mandrill Mail Service, but I’ll consider them further down the road a piece. I can only handle so many vine-swinging partners at one time.
Out of necessity, I’ve become an extraordinary multi-tasker, one who cooks and takes pictures of three dishes simultaneously, all the while quizzing her 12-year-old on how to say, “Please, sir, where is the bathroom?” in Spanish. Such is the life of a new blogging mom.
Random technical assistants send me emails in an attempt to get me to “provide my Google YOAST admin. code to deactivate the installed plugin.” I tell them to repeat what they want me to do one more time as if they were talking to their grandma. That’s the tech-speak floor I live on. I have a newly acquired sidebar, a dashboard and a plethora of widgets, whatever those might be, that confound me simply by existing. And my iPhoto storage is stuffed to the gills with hundreds of shots of onions sautéing at every possible angle as well as a 4 second video of egg yolks sitting calmly in a bowl.
I’ve heard it all from spammers far and wide: some want to sell me Canadian goose boots, and others attempt, time and time again, to complement my “amazng writting” which has allowed them to “siek now knowledge”. Yesterday I got a message from Pauline, who began her spiel with, “Hi, this is Adrienne.” I think she’s confused. Dual personality syndrome and all. I even have some spammer friends who feel I’m far more worldly than I truly am as they leave comments for me in Arabic, Turkish, and Mandarin Chinese. Since I can’t read what they’re hoping to convey, I’m left to assume that they, too, are fawning over my astounding “writting skiles.” And writely so.
While the dog may be feeling ignored, my dirty laundry pile has begun to mildew and rival the height of Mt St. Helens, and the dust bunnies along our hallway baseboards are procreating madly, I’m having a ball reawakening my inner writer. (Or should that be “writter?” Now I’m confused.) Every morning she jumps out of bed with a smile on her face, fingers flexed, raring to immortalize the latest silly notions that she’s been dreaming up over night.
Most importantly, I’ve reconnected with long lost friends who once more make me smile; I’ve put my mind through grueling, yet oh-so-important workouts, the likes of which it hasn’t seen in years; and I’ve rejoiced at hearing that my written nonsense has struck a chord, or teased a tastebud, or even brought a smile or a chuckle or a teary-eyed, snort-inducing guffaw to some of my readers.
Afterall, that’s what this blogging ride should be all about, shouldn’t it? Connecting and sharing and spreading joy?
At least that’s what my winking, cheeky monkey friends tell me!
And, in this case, at any rate, I tend to believe them.
(Oh, and please leave a message! That’s one of my favorite parts of blogging. They absolutely make my day! If you’re timid, just sign in as “Pauline/Adrienne” No one will be the wiser. Especially not Pauline/Adrienne, bless her befuddled soul.)